As the Kenmore spins

As I toss a-nother load into the dryer and fold the tumbled stacks...so many questions.

• Did my son need those now 37 pieces of shredded paper? Wonder what it said? Hope it wasn't a cheat sheet for finals. Ha ha. Sucka...
• Who's coins? Mine now. Wait, wasn't it mine in the first place. Answer:yes.
• This gym class stack of stink? From January? Stuffed in a metal locker for 4 months? Ah, we meet again. But you aren't playing fair. Who among you wants to be washed with the stinky gym clothes? (meet miss sweater below, she's about to become a size zero)
• Why does this sweater appear here, again. It surely hasn't been worn for eons. How did it even make it through Kenmore security? Why didn't the alarm sound....impostor impostor! That sweater is a fake! I hope you shrink into oblivion. I can almost hear your screams in the hot water.....savvvvvvve meeeeeeeee...
• How did my jeans end up in her laundry? Sadly we are not the same size. Who made this error? Hubby? I am flattered you mistake my jeans for hers.
• Why the holes in the socks, guys. And why are the boys socks always tainted and dirty on the bottom. I seriously give up. Turn me into the Clorox Gods for I am not worthy. I raise my white flag, well, it's a tainted brownish grayish white flag. Boys. You understand. Have mercy.
  
• And Simple Pleasures, why do I love you so? Those vanilla and lavender scented swirls from the dryer just send me....into lala land. Thank you.
• Why is putting on warm laundry one of life's seldomly discussed happy secrets? We all know it's the best feeling. And a warm blanket with lavender and vanilla fused into the fabric....well that's just about too much. Bliss.
• A SHOE? How did that get here. Leather one, too. Do you know the belt at the bottom of the basket? Just one shoe. Return to Sender: Address Unknown. Basket #2 I presume.Come on, work. with. me. people.
• Why the bobby pins? Oh, Allieeeeeeeeee, sigh.Meet your friends in the coin bucket. There's lots of your kind in there.
• Next up: chapstick. I see. Hmph. Redo this load now. Yeah, cuz I have all the blessed time in the blessed stinkin' daggum world. Yay-ah, well take this boys...I'm switching your undies on ya. Ha. Drake gets GIJoes and Andrew gets Am. Eagle. Ha! I'm one BADDDDD momma. Miso clever!
• Why do boys hide Snicker bar wrappers in their pockets? Eeeeew. Mr. Snicker bar wrapper, I found your fellow colleague in between the sofa cushions yesterday. He will be missed.
• A book cover? Why? Didn't I see you as a hat on someone earlier this week? Please, for the love of Snuggle, guys...use the trash cannnnnn.
• Why hello Old Navy cotton cami. You must be new. I'll let you dance with the gentles but I'm warning your ruffles, there a snoooty bunch. (Shhh. Her time here will be brief. I'll give her 2, 3 washings at the most and she's outaaaa hereeee.) I'll warn my laundry co-hort about your arrival, but he's blind and I think half deaf, too. He just doesn't get the whole special attention pile.
• At the bottom of the pile...Mr. Madras shorts. Also new. you remind me of Spain for some reason. Do you have a green card? A price tag at least, before I let you in? Welllllll, I'll keep you out of the dryer this time, but it's only because your owner thinks I'm skinny.
• Oh, Dockers stain resistant khakis and dress shirts. I love you. You know you are my favorites (winky wink), you know you are. But, if you're stain resistant and all, are you taking in that sudsy bath in the Kenmore? Is it necessary? For were you ever dirty in the first place?

So many perplexing mysteries. After I finish this laundry I hope to endure a never ending weekend. Well, okay 3 days ought to do it. Can I do it? Relax for 3 days? Highly doubtful. Perhaps a nice long hearty project. Hmmmmmm....so many to pick from. Bubblegum bubblegum in a dish....who knows. Maybe just me and a book. Or a movie.

Nope....Jim will hog the TV with all the war movies and the History Channel in all of it's Memorial Day glory. I have never seen so much green and brown on a TV screen. Didn't know it was possible until I met my History Channel, TMC war movie luvin hubby. I can recite at least 20 minutes of Midway I tell ya. I would, too, if it would make this laundry madness end.
Hope you have a wonder-filled and relaxing weekend!

P.S. Grandma....got a few pix for ya...click below. :)

Hooray these turned out! Snapped these last Sat. night. Scroll over

Comments

[psmullican]

You are TOO funny. Needing to get started on laundry myself. You make it almost appealing now. Can't wait to see what project you complete over the next few days. I'm working on my Cotillion book, myself and loving it. Have a great weekend!

[Nancy]

That lavendar and vanilla is aroma therapy first - fabric softener second. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

[Victoria Grobels]

OMG - this made my morning, you are so funny. I can of course relate to some of it but being I only have 1 son, well 2 if you count my husband who is 18 living inside a 40 year old body. I find all sorts of stuff in the laundry almost as if it's a dumping ground. I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing holiday weekend.

I plan on coming to Silverbella with my girlfriend Dede Warren, I think the two of you have become friends via the internet. I'm looking forward to it and to meeting you.

Take care,
V.

[Lilli]

This is Great. It's funny what goes through our minds when they've got nothing else to do in the moment but choose between lights and darks.

Have a great weekend :)

[clarice]

Haa Teresa I am glad I am not the only one. Who loves lavender, who children’s socks wonder were the heck they have been, who hubby adores the history channel/war movies and who’s children never clean out their pockets before throwing their clothes in the laundry. I am soo glad I am not alone. Have a yummy day. Clarice

[cari]

This woman needs a margarita, people!!!!!!!
You don't need to go to the casino, you can just play the laundry room!!! What sounds like hours of fun and frustration, and you don't even need to leave your own home...wait, wasn't that the point!?!
Here's to the beginning of summer!!!!

[Gypsy Purple-Chamara]

What a delightful and precious post...loved it!!!!!

[kim]

you make me smile sweet one! xoxo

[Kim]

Thanks for you boyant response to the challenges of laundry - it certainly is a lens through which to know your family members activities, huh?

[oh Merci]

This is great! I hope that you have one of those new washers that do big loads. I do like doing laundry, dirty to clean, warm, soft lavender scent. Growing up I loved it when my mom put clean sheets on my bed! It said a whole lot for me!
Does that Hubby of your want to see that new movie....Letters From Tokyo
or something like that...It is WWII from the Japaneese point.
Take care and Keep up the good fight (war with laundry)!
With Kindness,
Mary

[Genevieve]

oh this post made my day! I am sure that woman across the country and world are doing exactly what you are doing. It truly is the truth, all the thoughts that go through your head, and I thought I was the only one! Lots of laughs you gave me, hope that you have a great Memorial Day Weekend, Laundry FREE!

[Kim (OliveJuice)]

LOVED the laundry dialogue. If you could see the MOUNTAIN of clothes I waded my way through yesterday....I am right there with ya, sista! And oh, how I LOVE the vanilla/lavender Downy goodness. When I'm feeling extra special, I double up and throw in the dryer sheets right along with the liquid. Such a rebel. ;)
Hope you're having a lovely weekend.
XO~

[Kim (OliveJuice)]

OH! Just noticed the new bloggie banner too!! BEAUTIFUL!! This is my favorite one yet. :)

[geralyn]

We are so lucky to live in a shore town...I don't get to the beach much because we have a pool. We opened the pool today----it was great got on the float my daughter and I listening to Ingrid Michaelson (sang the last song on Grey's Anatomy finale----then like the music from jaws it hit me I couldn't stop seeing the pile of laundry inside the window.....alright...alright let me get in a little more sun and I'll start folding and folding and folding....four baskets full up the stairs sorting bringing to drawers....go down start folding again. My laundry detergent is Solo===love the smell. Solo also means family of four, but I get to do this all by myself. I loved all your observations oh my gosh you are too funny. I found a bookcover, and sweaters too. No money----what's with that????? Both my kids got called into work tonight---what will my husband and I be up to. I'll be matching socks while watching HGTV.....Life is good.

[Megan]

I am so glad i'm not the only one out there who monologues her laundry experience!

That was fantastic - and how delicious is that fabric softener?? I tossed some in with my jeans and LORDIE did they smell good!

Hope you enjoy your fabtastic Memorial Day weekend!

PS - Brian McFayden? My favourite MTV VJ of all time ;)

[donnalayton]

LOL! I guess a mother's laundry is universal. I'm also glad to know my boys aren't the only ones who seem to have some sort of trash can phobia.
Also, my husband watches all that history channel war stuff. Loves it. I always tell him...geez, you should be getting college credit for everything you watch. It's like taking a telecourse.

[Maggie]

Laughing at your rendition of the "Kenmore Spin"... I too have a hubby who loves the History Channel and War, War, War...when we go to the movies I have to try and steer him clear of them though he is ever a peach and will cater to my romantic or fun side. He loves a good movie of any kind, though action-packed are his favorite and now mine too. We also watch a lot of the National Geographic..love that channel. Have a marvelous weekend..it is gloomy this morning but I am still going to walk around Zorinsky...maybe at noonish.

[missy j]

Too cute and it is funny how much goes through our minds in that few minutes of laundry. Love the Lavender and Vanilla. Definitely one of my simple pleasures in life that I can't live without. Makes laundry worth doing!

[Kirsten]

So perfectly true and funny...I call it my 'tip money'...but you're right, it was mine in the first place....

[ginnycartersmallenburg]

My hub of 2+ years often does laundry....great you say...but over the years I have always done the laundry for my family and then just for me...so I wonder...what have I done wrong? Is my way of doing the laundry not up to his standards? Did I not wash the pile of clothes fast enough. Sheesh! What's wrong with ME? Quick, remind me to smile with glee at my good luck to have found a man that doesn't need a mommy.